Finding Myself
by SydMarch
Summary: Here's the thing, the wasteland has taught me more about humanity than the vault ever did. Coops, was used to being cooped up in the vault. But there's a whole new world out there, full of mystery and truth, and it need's someone to unravel it. Deals with isolation,depression & finding a purpose. Relationships: Slight Vaultie x Freddie Gomez. Major Vaultie x Charon later on.


Chapter 1. The beginning without an end.

My name, I dislike my name. My nicknames though, they are quite odd, my favourite would have to be nosebleed though another one of my nicknames is Coops because I tend to coop up in the unused storage area and drink all the homemade hooch I can. Only Amata calls me by that name though. If I were to search though my brain and find my happiest memory is would have to be when I got my pip-boy.

It was my tenth birthday, My first true birthday party. I never had a party before, Amata was so generous. She had spent time decorating and planning, all behind my back and I never realised! She was truly the greatest friend I could ask for, I was lucky I had her. I let my crush on Freddy Gomez slip through my lips, I don't think anyone else heard, only Amata. That was the best day of my life, even after Butch tried to steal my sweet roll. What happened was Mrs Palmer baked me a sweet-roll for my birthday and Andy accidentally cut the cake and destroyed it so Butch decided to be an ass and tried to steal my sweet-roll. So what I did was bite it in half, quickly swallow it and then I spat on the other half and offered it to him. His face was priceless. He chucked a tantrum and went to hit me but Officer Gomez caught him red handed, hah, it was so funny!

Lately, for me life in the vault has gotten depressing, its quite repetitive, I'm lucky that we have the asshole Butch, always coming up with new names, teases and way to annoy yet entertain us. It feels old in this vault, feels like years have already passed by. I had a crush on Freddie, that's been… off and on lately.

My eyes are still staring into the creamy wall as my mind races, I don't want to do this, I don't want to, but I know I'm going to have to. The G.O.A.T the godforsaken quiz that you take when you're 16 to decide your fate and future job in the vault. I'm torn out of my own consciousness as I hear my dad speak. "Well, you're not sick."

"But Dad!" I look at dad with puppy dog eyes. "I'm sick, I swear!"

"No, you're not." I glare at dad and sign.

"Fine, I'm going. Bye dad"

I jump off the table and walk off before dad can say bye or wave me off. As I make my way into the classroom I see Butch harassing Amata. "Hey Butch, what do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like nosebleed? Bout to show Amata a real tunnel snake, what? You want to see too?"

I cringe my nose at disgust while I think of a comeback, "You know Amata's dad is the overseer right? What if he comes down here and sees you harassing her?"

"You know what, see isn't even worth our time, lets go tunnel snakes."

Just before Butch enters the classroom I flip him off.

"Thanks for that." I hear Amata say as she follows me into the classroom…

The test, it was goddamn awful, the questions seemed to be made for sadists or psychopaths.

I look straight at Brotch, my eyebrows frowning, waiting for my results. I hear a lip smack and his voice. "Looks like the diner's going to get a new fry cook. I'll just say this once: hold the mustard, extra pickles." I watch as he laughs. This is not what I wanted.

"Can I change it somehow?" I question him.

"Afraid not, the overseer got angry at me for changing too many people's results."

I look back down at my quiz on Brotch's desk and sigh before walking backwards. Just before I turn my head I accidentally bump into Freddie.

"Sorry Freddie." I look at him and withstand a blush. I can't help that my crush for him has been decreasing lately but this event has kind of spiked it back up. I know he struggles living in the vault, I couldn't help it but read dad's files on his VDS. But that's none of my business.

"I'm thinking of going with 'Overseer' for the last one. What did you put?"

I crack a smile and point to the third 'overseer' option and tapped on it.

"I did this one."

I hear Butch snickering in the background as I pick up my pencil and leave. I'm not going to lie, I can't help taking pencils and pens from the classroom, I like to write and draw. I return them a day after though, I know we are running out of pencils, have to start making pencils from the charcoal off the grill in the cafeteria. That's actually a good idea, good thing I'm a new fry cook. I laugh to myself and make my way down to the Cafeteria. I don't want to see dad, I know he will be disappointed that I didn't get a job with him in the lab and the fact that I'm working in the kitchen, at least im not a trash burner. I smirk as I secretly hope Butch becomes the vault trash burner. I smile as I remember that no one really hangs out near the kitchen, so I'll be mostly alone – well until breakfast, lunch and dinner times. This is really the first time that the vault has had a chef or cook, lately its been like one person collects the ration cards and gives out canned foods. Glad we can finally have cooked meals now. I am worried about one thing though, what happens when we run out of food. I know we have a backup plan, the machine that turns waste into food but that's majorly disgusting and I don't want to vomit. Surely the vault would have herbs and plants growing? I'll have to ask the overseer later if we have any seeds… But we don't have dirt, never-mind.

When I leave the vault, that's if I leave the vault. The first thing I want to do is grow produce, actually taste something fresh, something real and not artificial and soaked in preservatives. But that's if I do actually leave the vault. One can only wish. I'm not even sure if life outside of the vault is even liveable, the overseer says it isn't and so does my dad.

I twirl the old pencil around my fingers while I walk down the stair to the reactor, I hope I see Jonas there it's nice to chat him up every now and then. Jonas has been a really great friend despite our age gap, he is like the uncle that you hang out with and your best mates with, I've told him things I'd never tell dad.

"Hey there kiddo, how'd the test go?" I hear with the accompliment of a really hard head ruffle.

"Guess what my new destined future is?" I say as I fix my hair.

"Hmm, let me guess" a break of silence as I see Jonas's mouth open. "Could you be a doctor?"

I look at him dead in the eye as I speak, "Nah I'm a fry cook… May I take your order?" I hold in a laugh as Jonas lets out deep giggles.

"Good one, hopefully you'll be able to make the food taste better than it looks, been a long time since we've had a proper cook."

My thoughts ponder for a moment, "Doesn't your granny sometimes work in the kitchen?"

"She does, maybe you'll be paired up with her. She's a lovely woman I wouldn't be surprised if she teaches you her sweet roll recipe."

I smile at Jonas, I'm a bit upset that I won't be able to hang out with him now that I have a job, I'm sure maybe I can deliver him his lunch and then hang out for a while. Hah, I just thought of something funny, I could poison Butch! Well I am now the Vault's cook so perhaps I could sneak some rat poison in Butch's stew hah, but then again if I'm framed for murder… Oh well, I can always fantasise about it, next time Butch teases me I'll have to threaten to put rat poison in his food.

I realise how late it's gotten and that I should probably talk to dad. "I have to go now Jonas, I'll see you later!"

"Better not keep your old man waiting, see you later kiddo." Jonas waves me off as I exited the reactor. I just realised how much Jonas hangs out down there, most of the time he is either in the lab/medical wing or the reactor. I sometimes think that he is doing some illegal experiment down there hah but I never catch him doing anything.

I leap up the stairs and make my way to the medical lab. I hope dad isn't angry at me.

"Where have you been missy?" I immediately stop and stare at my dad, I watch as his expression changes from fake anger to cheerfulness. "So how'd it go?"

"Well.. I didn't get a job with you in the lab… or as a doctor." My hands fiddle around a bit.

"Ah, that's okay, you didn't get a job as a trash burner did you?" I think to myself, might as well lower his expectations then we wont be as disappointed.

"Here's the thing… I did." I watch his face drop before I start waving my hands around "I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm the Vaults new cook."


End file.
